People close to us teach us “How not to trust”. Its a universal truth, its just that we refuse to acknowledge that people who are dear to us will break us, stab us in the heart, break our trust into pieces. It is something that you can’t digest. Well, they are fully capable of doing this and quite surprisingly, many actually end up doing it.
What happens then?
When a close person breaks our trust, they breaks us. The moment they leave, our hearts build up these seemingly impenetrable walls with an intention to not let anybody hold that power to destroy us again.
Whats the point? Why bother letting someone else hurt you? Its tiring, its a vicious cycle: you give away your trust, you get hurt, you heal, so on and so forth.
You will find a trustworthy person- but it almost feels like a rarity, sometimes a myth. Just like the unicorn.
It is not easy to recover from a broken trust as it is always done by someone you love dearly. How do you pick yourself up from a betrayal like so? How?
– Misbah Shaikh
Oh God, that moment.
That one bloody moment, where you hear it or see it happen in front of you.
Could be a voice or vision.
Its like someone pumped in fuel set on fire,
It rushes into your chest,
And slowly to your heart.
Whats worse is, you feel each and every stinct making an impact within.
You feel like someone slit open your chest and poured in hot water right into the heart.
The moment after that is equally devastating,
You’re in some kind of a black hole,
Where you hear a voice that sounds like a buzzer.
You feel your heartbeat through out your body.
Hands begin to shiver,
You close your eyes and you just dont feel like opening them up again.
And it keeps going on for a while.
This process is what brings in fear,
Fear to trust someone,
Fear to give someone that part of you,
Fear to go through that whole process again,
And How will you?
You might even slowly start detaching from the crowd you are familiar with.
The smallest action they’d do, could bring in that fear again.
The tears,
The sleepless nights,
The zone outs.
You might not even feel like talking to anyone.
But the best is to absorb this pain,
Find a way to glorify it,
Write it out,
Sing it out,
Dance it out,
Make Pain a beauty.
And thats when you stop being scared of it.
Treat your people the way they treat you,
Find yourself,
Love yourself,
Learn to be Attached and Detached at the same time.
Glorify Pain so that you realize your strength.
Glorify Pain so that you can seek closure.
Glorify Pain so that you can give someone another chance.
Because you must give that opportunity to someone again,
You have to learn to trust them.
Because if you can’t trust anyone,
How can you ever fall in love with someone?
– Sharan Shekhar (from Words within a paradox)
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